If you're been reading this blog for a while, you may have learned a bit about me. One of the things I fear is joy. There are a number of reasons for this, I expect, some valid spiritual methodology, some not. It can be hard (hard for me, anyhow) to distinguish joy from mania. Being too happy, speedy, 'up, is going to mean the opposite before too long, and I've learned to guard against that, learned at some cost to myself and others. Today I am full of joy. I'm thinking (I'll let you know if I was wrong about this) that the way to know it as joy is to hold it inside, generally keep my mouth shut, keep my simple routines in place, and let it shine. I find that as I do that, I can see it spread into other people much more than if I were dancing about.
Maybe it's also important to distinguish joy from happiness. Hapiness is like a bird singing outside the window. It's just there. There when you feel up, feel down, beel busy, or feel nothing. The bird just sings, eats bugs, and does its thing.
Joy is when the heart rises up like the geese flying in the fall, a huge movement of the heart. The danger is in believing that it has to have some external correlative, that because the geese are flying we're being called to action. Not necessarily. Like grief, joy is hard for the heart to hold.
At that point we can offer our energy to the Queen of Wands. She is not a card that represents Joy. She is the capable administrator. she can be our heart's executive assistant. Whatever we offer her will be handled impeccably. She receives the Fire that the Knight of Wands brings, the Fire from Heaven, if you like, and modulates and shapes it into what we hope, dream, think of. All we have to do is ask her.
When I was quite young a popular singer called Frankie Laine sang something called "The Dry of the Wild Goose". The refrain wne tlike this:
"I must go where the wild goose knows
and my heart knows what the wild goose knows,
Wild goose, brother goose, which is best,
A wandering soul or a heart at rest?"
We can feel that wild cry of joy, but for us to try and emulate then, spread our wings and fly away, may just lead us to nothing. I don't think we get to do it until the end. We migrate once in a life, spread our wings, and with a cry of joy fly out of the incarnation we're in, to meet the Infinite Unmade.